Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The 15 year old, $2,500.00 TOOTHPICK!
you are not going to believe this...
this story begins one year ago to date....oh wait... i stand corrected.... 15 years ago to date....
but lets start in the middle.....
a year ago... Cory comes home after working a 12 hour shift at the hospital and asks me to make him an appointment with a foot doctor. he says he noticed that the underside of his big toe had begun to hurt him and there was a small bump developing..... so being the good wife that i am, i promptly (a month later....oops) make an appointment with a local podiatrist. a week goes by and we go to said appointment.... the doc feels the bump.... he is sure that it is a cyst on the tendon and whips out a syringe of lidocaine/cortisone and jabs a huge needle in the underside of Cory's toe "OUCH!" then says "there! It could be tender for a few days from the injection but shortly you wont even notice that the cyst was ever there......"
WRONG!
Cory's "cyst" returns and seems to get bigger and more painful as months go by. so in a moment of "deja vu" i am asked again to make an appointment and after a month of subtle reminders i once more am a "loving" wife and make another call to the doctor.
Monday morning comes and Cory heads to the podiatrist at 830 am. i get a message on my cell at 9:00 am that simple states "hey babe, surgery on Wednesday"
WEDNESDAY: We head to the hospital. We make it through pre-op (medical histories, IV, cute disposable boxers (yes i laughed out loud when i saw them...hehehe paper underwear...hehehe), and marking his toe with a purple marker. Then in walks the Doc and the CRNA. After going over the procedure and the warning us that the cyst had a recurrence rate of 25%, the CRNA made the HUGE mistake. He asked Cory (the future CRNA) if he had any questions....Cory jumped right in...."how old are you? where did you go to school? how long have you been out of school?" Poor man didn't see it coming...after a few surprised glances at the nurse, wondering if we were questioning his capabilities, he caught on that the questioning had absolutely nothing to do with the surgery... and gladly dove into suggestions and info on the best schools to apply to. Off they went into surgery still talking, with the doors swinging behind them...
A mere 30 minutes later the doctor came and found me in the waiting room....he had a slight grin on his face and said "Well, i don't think this cyst is coming back..." then handed me this.....
He smiled and said...."It was NOT what we were expecting."
When they made the cut in to Cory's toe, what they found was a TOOTHPICK!
I Laughed!
What in the world?? how was there a toothpick in my husbands foot?? i had NO memory of any toothpick accidents. The nurse called me back to the recovery room. Cory was waiting (in the cute paper boxers and sexy hospital gown) for me....i handed over the toothpick. He looked at me puzzled..."what's this?" I explained. He burst out laughing telling me the story about 15 years before when he and a buddy were rough housing in his parents house and he had gotten a toothpick stuck in the bottom of his foot. It was wedged in there really deep. They both pulled on it a couple of times and finally dislodged it. A portion was covered in blood so they assumed it was the whole toothpick....evidently it wasn't! OUCH!
So you are wondering what happens to a toothpick after being in your toe for fifteen years??NOTHING it looks the exact same! (well with a little added blood!) His body had just formed a cyst around the toothpick in the past year due to him running and being on his feet more with work. WEIRD...I know!
and the ending of this story......
We are minus one toothpick....up one big hospital bill....got in a few Laughs... having a little bit of pain, but after a long day....
We're all Living Happily Ever After!

7 comments:

Handi Andi said...

That is so awesome. I am still laughing since I heard the story from you and Cory a few hours ago. Awesome post, awesome storytelling, great pictures. Love it. Poor Cory, but I still love it.

Brittany and Johnse said...

I seriously can't believe that! if i didn't know you i would have thought you were an awesome story teller!! ha ha! poor cory that had to have been some awesome foot pain for 15 years!!!

TwinkleBee said...

i immediately texted cory about the paper boxers haha!! Leave it to cory to have a great story. I always look forward to story time at the williams house when I come. Have any blankets in stock you can send me?

Caitlin said...

That is so funny! I'm glad you don't have to worry about a cyst coming back. Poor Cory...

ambyr said...

that's the most awesome story I have ever heard. CRAZY!!!! You should totally frame that darn toothpick. I'm sure glad cory knew where it came from...even if it was years earlier!!! LOVE IT!

Kristi said...

That is crazy! I'm glad it all had a happy ending. :)

Erickson Family said...

That is so crazy! How funny that he remembered the incident so quickly. I would have been puzzled for weeks!